The Home Stretch
It’s officially only 3 more weeks until our precious baby Webb will be born and I no longer will be a mama of one. As the day quickly approaches you will find me bustling around the house preparing for babies arrival and dancing the day away with my very exuberant toddler. I don’t remember nesting this much last time. Maybe it was the fact that I worked up until the week I had Annaleigh or that I finished everything by 4 months pregnant. There have been so many differences between this pregnancy and my previous with AL. The physical stuff not so much as just being able to enjoy every minute of this pregnancy with my toddler and my husband. There have definitely still been hard days (this last week being one of them) but we always come out learning more about each other and growing closer as a family.
Mama of Two
The adjustment of going from taking care of one child to two is starting to really frighten me. I love AL so very much and I know she is going to adore having a sibling but I also know the first few weeks will be hard. Not being able to have mama’s full attention at all times is just not something I believe you can fully teach them without going through it themselves. We do try to do independent play a lot but to be honest AL is just like me as a child. I was always very social and wanted to be with someone at all times. She wants to brush her teeth with mama instead of play with toys while I get ready or help me cook in the kitchen instead of even watch a movie. She loves being around me and I love being around her. I pray that as this transition into sisterhood begins that she will love helping mama with baby. That she will feel ever so needed and loved by mama, daddy, and baby.
Labor and Birth
I didn’t fear my labor and birth last time. I was too preoccupied with chasing around 4 little ones that I nannied for and didn’t have time to fret. I also wasn’t as educated on all things birth as I am now. This go round I am able to sit down and relax but my mind does sometimes wander. AL’s birth wasn’t traumatic or anything there were just some things that happened that I rather not happen that way again. I have been to my new doctors office twice now and I am so confident having them support me but of course that fear sometimes still slips in. The what ifs of birth can be quite terrifying but I know in my heart that everything will work out just as God has planned it. I have seen several woman in my life go through some very traumatic births and their faith that has just overflowed through the whole thing encourages me that I’ve got this and God’s got this.
Bear with Me
These last few weeks I may be quite absent on social media and such. I love keeping in touch with everyone but it also can be quite overwhelming and right now I need to focus on my little family. I know that may sound selfish but I just know when I need to take a step back and become unbusy. That being said I know a lot of people that don’t understand this concept. I have had and seen many friendships break apart because someone couldn’t quite grasp what a woman goes through towards the end and after birth or they did grasp it but couldn’t understand why the person couldn’t just bounce back like them. Please don’t be that friend. I encourage you if you have a pregnant friend or a new mom friend please don’t give up on her. No matter how many children she has those last few months and once baby is here are rough. They still need your support and know that you are there waiting for them. Some woman are ready to go right after they pop baby out but some women it takes time so please be patient. I love you all and I can’t wait to share baby webb with you!
Becoming a Mom
When I became a mom I honestly expected to be an anxious parent. From as far as I can remember I have struggled with anxiety and I’m not talking anxious about a certain situation but crippling anxiety. Anxiety you don’t know where it came from but it’s definitely there and roaring its ugly head. As you can imagine that mixed with the early days of motherhood was tough but that is where God and I met face to face to tackle this demon so that I could break free and be who He intended me to be as a mother.
The Hard Choice
Despite the many years I have worked with children the baby stage didn’t come easy for me. The first few months I was obsessed with making sure I was doing everything “right”. I would question everything I did. I finally came to a point where I had to make a choice. I had a choice to let this anxiety rule over me or to break free. This was no easy task but I believed that with God all things are possible.
Starting the Day Afresh
The first step I took in releasing my anxiety and control (I thought I had on everything) was starting yoga. I would get up in the morning before Annaleigh, light a candle, crack open my Bible on my mat in the floor and start to read. After my morning devotion I would start my yoga flows. Some mornings I would get maybe one flow in but some mornings many if time allowed. Now if yoga is not your thing no worries but I encourage you to get up before your home gets up and do what lights your soul on fire. Drink your cup of coffee in the stillness of your home, read a book, prepare your home for the day, whatever it is that will help jump start your day do it. You won’t regret it.
Getting to the Root
Starting my day afresh was great but something was still disarray even in the last few weeks. I had to get to the root of my anxiety. I quickly realized a lot of that resided in my control of situations with Annaleigh. Now the thought of being able to control a baby better yet a toddler is quite absurd. I mean we can’t even control our own selves as adults sometimes and I’m expecting a toddler to just get it all. Again I was so obsessed with doing it right, having control of naps, dinner time, behavior issues, you name it. I was missing out on a lot of special time with my daughter because of worries and fear. I had to give it to God and let go!
Letting go isn’t easy but I feel it is the key to many wonderful fun filled days with your little ones. The baby/toddler doesn’t nap its ok! Go outside, go for a walk, paint, craft, take a bath with bubbles, snuggle in bed and watch a movie, go splash in puddles if it rains, let it all go! When I release control and just go with the flow of the day we end on such a good note. The whole house is at ease and full of peace…plus the satisfaction on a toddlers face that got to play in the rain…priceless.
You’ve Got This
I encourage you all to remember you are dong an amazing job. The devil wanted me and wants you to feel you are doing it all wrong but you aren’t mama. He wants to infiltrate our thoughts and take control of our motherhood but we can’t allow that. We are all learning together. As we fill our hearts and minds with patience and grace we can boldly love and conquer any day that is set before us.